Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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