i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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