After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
