yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
