Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize