I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
