I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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