my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
