You're my little dorito
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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