are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
