is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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