Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
