oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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