yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
