I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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