I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think my fart just growled at me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
