Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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