so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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