in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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