Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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