Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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