i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
