So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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