We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
