Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I want to fling myself into the sun
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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