put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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