Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
