Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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