i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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