somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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