Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
