Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
