Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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