Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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