you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
