on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My balls are so social today.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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