Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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