best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Randomize
