Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They have beer where we have blood.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
