ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
