This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
