Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
