Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
