can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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