It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
