Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
