Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
