"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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