Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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