do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
