Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
