If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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