I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
