Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I could fuck to npr.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
