I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize