But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
