ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
