some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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