she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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