Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
