My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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