I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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