it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
