I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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