We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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