What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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