My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
